where mind meets page

WHERE IS EVERYONE

2008-11-18T17:39:00.000-08:00

Well............7:39 pm and so far today we have had 12 tables.

Aside from bad business days life is awesome. I do still love this job just not slow days. I am really loving spending more time with mere too.

I would love to hear from anyone who wants to write or call.

Be well and spread love.

சம்திங் இஸ் வ்ரோங்,,, வெரி வெரி வ்ரோங்

2008-10-16T13:35:00.000-07:00

hello all

this is my first view of internet in over a week i think - i decided to take a break from punctuation and capitalization

life is going well for me at this time - i dont feel like writing today but thought i should revive this thing - more later - promise

(side note) i am excited to see people this weekend
(side note 2) i dont know what happened to my title i didn't do it

love

What's going on?

2008-08-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

So I am writing a paper for my class. I forgot how much I dislike these papers. I go through them in stages; stage 1 - denial that the paper exists, stage 2 - panic, stage 3 - a very slow start to the actual paper, stage 4 - writing as fast as I can to "just finish the stupid thing".......I am currently in stage 3. Hopefully tomorrow will finish stage 4.

After leaving home 60% of churchgoing teens will leave the church never to return.
Their reasons are judging church members, hypocrisy, and politicizing church.
What have we become? Are we having church services or running businesses?

B

Jobby

2008-07-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

Well I am told that there is a 99% chance that I will be hired on as a cook/"team leader" person at an Italian Bistro in Weatherford. I am EXCITED...AS YOU CAN SEE BY MY ALL CAPS.

Oh. and an f'ing cow stepped on my leg and foot today, but I'm ok. The b was trying to trample me but I wasn't havin nuna that.

Dangerous Theology

2008-07-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

To begin, I apologize for skipping June. It was an outrageously hectic time for me. Life is going well at this point. I just dropped Mere off at the airport to end her 9 day stay. Now, I "get" to go back to working nonstop again. I am still not really sure what to do with my life at this point. I am really just trying to solidify in my mind the thought that I am not trying to find out what I want to do with my life, but I should be trying to discover how God will use my life. Pray for me in that regard.

Now to deal with that title.

I recently had a discussion with my pastor about orthodox theology as opposed to western theology. It was very interesting to me to hear that our western theology is extremely strict and based on moral rightness or wrongness and orthodox theology is based on the ongoing relationship between people and the trinity. Learning about the orthodox theology has lead me to some really amazing realizations. For example, my pastor has always stressed the importance of the trinity and the fact that Christianity is a relationship. Both of these things have always seemed like obvious parts of my faith but I guess I never put together the pieces to see how important they really are. The trinity is so important because it gives us a picture of relationship in its perfect form. The thought of Christianity as a relationship is so vitally important because the fact of the matter is that it is true that God loves us so much that he will never withdraw from us if we love him. However, if we fail in loving Him it is possible to walk away, this puts a different face on some things that I have thought before. I'm stuck as to where to go with this idea next. Maybe I'll come back to this later.

I am incredibly excited for my life away from home to start. When I think of all of the joyful possibilities that lay ahead I can't really describe how that feels....but it is awesome. I have been blessed, I am now blessed, and I LOVE the fact that the best is yet to come.

If you have any thoughts, clarifying questions, ideas, revelations, or anything else please don't hesitate to share.

BK

Oh I wanted to say that everyone should look up the Franz Family Band. I know its bluegrass but they are all outrageously talented.

Tequila!

2008-05-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

Oklahoma weather

2008-05-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

In an hour and a half we could possibly have what our weatherman labels "cantelope size hail"

"If you look at the radar you see the red and purple areas, and then there is the almost grey area there; when you see that... thats ridiculous."
-News 9 weatherman

I really want to stand on my porch with a bat and try to hit the cantelope size hail...

As It Stands

2008-05-23T20:26:00.000-07:00

I am tired. I realize that it is mainly my fault for staing up late. Or it could be the 11 hour days. I started work this week at 3 pm on Monday, since then I have worked 49 hours. I shouldn't complain though, I am getting paid. I have gotten into some good conversations with my dad lately; which is really good since that hasn't happened much... ever. Of course they all end the same. Our arguments end with me trying to explain myself and him saying "Uh-uh, Uh-uh." Still it is an improvement. As most know I am engaged. That will probably be happening next April or thereabouts. I am going to spend probably another month and a half here at home it looks like, that is unless harvest comes and goes faster than expected. I think my feeling now is that I am happy to be able to help, but I am ready to move on and live life. Most of all I want to be near Mere.

I could go on but I am tired. Maybe I'll write more soon. Maybe you'll write me soon?

I know its long, please read it though

2008-05-19T20:59:00.000-07:00

Dostoevsky in The Idiot talking about capital punishment in the form of guillotine (concept could be applied to lethal injection)

"Well, at all events it is a good thing that there's no pain when the poor fellow's head flies off," he remarked."Do you know, though," cried the prince warmly, "you made that remark now, and everyone says the same thing, and the machine is designed with the purpose of avoiding pain, this guillotine I mean; but a thought came into my head then: what if it be a bad plan after all? You may laugh at my idea, perhaps--but I could not help its occurring to me all the same. Now with the rack and tortures and so on--you suffer terrible pain of course; but then your torture is bodily pain only (although no doubt you have plenty of that) until you die. But here I should imagine the most terrible part of the whole punishment is, not the bodily pain at all--but the certain knowledge that in an hour,--then in ten minutes, then in half a minute, then now--this very instant--your soul must quit your body and that you will no longer be a man-- and that this is certain, certain! That's the point--the certainty of it. Just that instant when you place your head on the block and hear the iron grate over your head--then--that quarter of a second is the most awful of all."This is not my own fantastical opinion--many people have thought the same; but I feel it so deeply that I'll tell you what I think. I believe that to execute a man for murder is to punish him immeasurably more dreadfully than is equivalent to his crime. A murder by sentence is far more dreadful than a murder committed by a criminal. The man who is attacked by robbers at night, in a dark wood, or anywhere, undoubtedly hopes and hopes that he may yet escape until the very moment of his death. There are plenty of instances of a man running away, or imploring for mercy--at all events hoping on in some degree--even after his throat was cut. But in the case of an execution, that last hope--having which it is so immeasurably less dreadful to die,--is taken away from the wretch and certainty substituted in its place! There is his sentence, and with it that terrible certainty that he cannot possibly escape death--which, I consider, must be the most dreadful anguish in the world. You may place a soldier before a cannon's mouth in battle, and fire upon him--and he will still hope. But read to that same soldier his death-sentence, and he will either go mad or burst into tears. Who dares to say that any man can suffer this without going mad? No, no! it is an abuse, a shame, it is unnecessary--why should such a thing exist? Doubtless there may be men who have been sentenced, who have suffered this mental anguish for a while and then have been reprieved; perhaps such men may have been able to relate their feelings afterwards. Our Lord Christ spoke of this anguish and dread. No! no! no! No man should be treated so, no man, no man!"

It's scarry man

2008-05-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

So I was killing time in Oklahoma City the other day, and I decided to go into Hollister for the first time ever. That place is an interesting experience. First of all, I walk in and it is dark and there is a cluttered feel. The place is split up into a lot of rooms and there are a lot of plants so I get the feeling that I am blazing through a jungle. Then I realize that I have yet to see any workers. This worries me. I start thinking that some preppy kid hopped up on red bull is going to jump out of a tree and try to sell me board shorts. I venture in to the deepest depths of the store and my worry about the crazed salesman leads me to the decision that I am no longer in a safe environment. Thus drawing my first, and probably last, Hollister experience to a nervous close. Post this, I went to Borders book store and started looking at Art & Architecture books. I picked up one called "A Lifetime of Secrets" by Frank Warren. The idea is that he advertised that people should write down all of the secrets they have and send them to him and he would put them in a book. I'm not sure what I expected, but I was definitely surprised by what I found. I opened the book to a random page and started reading, and after about 10 minutes I had become incredibly depressed at the fact that people were living with these thoughts under the surface. I'm still how to process everything I read there.

I had a 7 hour interview experience yesterday. The marketing firm basically buys out contracts from company's such as AT&T and then tries to sell the product door to door. They haven't offered me a job yet, but if they do I am going to turn them down, for several reasons. One, the pay is completely commission. While I have all faith that I could succeed, I still would like to have some defined income. Second, I could not, with a good conscience, push a product onto someone who initially say they do not want it. Finally, door to door salesmen are pretty much disliked, and I don't know if I could do a job knowing that the majority of the people I talk to basically hate me. Could being a door to door salesman pushing a product onto someone be used to glorify God? I don't see it. Even if I have a better product for cheaper, I can't force that on someone.

Someone told me that I am going to miss college and that the best times of my life are behind me. I refuse to believe that. The best is yet to come...

No topic just some scripture

2008-05-01T00:20:00.000-07:00

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and those who are perishing;"

-2 Cor. 2:14, 15

"For who is God, besides the LORD? And who is a rock, besides our God?

"God is my strong fortress; And He sets the blameless in His way.

"He makes my feet like hinds' {feet,} And sets me on my high places.

"He trains my hands for battle, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

"You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your help makes me great.

"You enlarge my steps under me, And my feet have not slipped.

"I pursued my enemies and destroyed them, And I did not turn back until they were consumed.

"And I have devoured them and shattered them, so that they did not rise; And they fell under my feet.

"For You have girded me with strength for battle; You have subdued under me those who rose up against me.

"You have also made my enemies turn {their} backs to me, And I destroyed those who hated me.

"They looked, but there was none to save; {Even} to the LORD, but He did not answer them.

"Then I pulverized them as the dust of the earth; I crushed {and} stamped them as the mire of the streets.

"You have also delivered me from the contentions of my people; You have kept me as head of the nations; A people whom I have not known serve me.

"Foreigners pretend obedience to me; As soon as they hear, they obey me.

"Foreigners lose heart, And come trembling out of their fortresses.

"The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock; And exalted be God, the rock of my salvation,

The God who executes vengeance for me, And brings down peoples under me,

Who also brings me out from my enemies; You even lift me above those who rise up against me; You rescue me from the violent man.

"Therefore I will give thanks to You, O LORD, among the nations, And I will sing praises to Your name.

"{He} is a tower of deliverance to His king, And shows lovingkindness to His anointed, To David and his descendants forever."
-2 Sam 22:32-51

	Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a good conscience, desiring to conduct ourselves honorably in all things.
	And I urge {you} all the more to do this, so that I may be restored to you the sooner.
	Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, {even} Jesus our Lord,
	equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom {be} the glory forever and ever. Amen. -Heb 13:18-21

	Great is my confidence in you; great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort; I am overflowing with joy in all our affliction.
	For even when we came into Macedonia our flesh had no rest, but we were afflicted on every side: conflicts without, fears within.
	But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus; -2 Cor 7:4-6

Some days...

2008-04-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

I don't like the days when I can tell I am annoying the people around me. I have this habit forever that has been impossible to get rid of so far. Some times I forget what I stand for and try really hard to be the center of the party and make everyone notice me. I suppose maybe sometimes I do fill that roll and when it is not my day I try to remedy that. I'm too tired to finish this.

2008-04-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

2008-04-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

"Big Brother in the form of an increasingly powerful government and in an increasingly powerful private sector will pile the records high with reasons why privacy should give way to national security, to law and order [...] and the like."

- Justice William O. Douglas

Interesting

2008-04-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

What is there in your life that you are dedicated to enough to fail time and time again?

-Linsey Gainer 4/10/08

Now just tell me where it hurts, okay?

2008-04-07T21:36:00.000-07:00

Injury has always been a powerful factory in sports. Players can undergo a routine surgery on a torn ACL and never have the same confidence as a player. I have seen this with several soccer players and various leg injuries. But I was reading something today that makes it hard for me to understand how some players bounce back to ever play again.

Petr Cech (goalie), not too long ago, was diving for a ball in a game when one of the opposition kicked as hard as he could at the ball. Instead of finding the ball his foot found Cech's face, square on. He almost died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and at the hospital. Yet, after a very lengthy rehab period came back to play once again at top form.

Amazing!

I am astonished at the determination to face the reality that this could happen again. Now a couple of years later, during practice Cech collides with a teammate and has to undergo emergency surgery. 50 stitches in his face. He will be out for approximately 2 weeks, then he should be fit to play again. Truly astonishing.

I like pancakes

2008-04-02T19:58:00.000-07:00

Especially, when they look like a deformed Mickey Mouse.

The implicit ramifications of the independently paradoxical intertwining with regard to the overarching juxtaposition

2008-04-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

I am really bored.

I set a new high score on tetris...160,183.

Why is it so easy to get bored when there is so much that needs to be done.

Refiners Fire

2008-03-17T10:14:00.002-07:00

ERROR

Thought unfinished.......

Supplement

Success keychain

2008-03-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

-Brains (what could be called common sense)

-Passion

-Integrity through faith

First off brains, fairly obvious, if one is dumb chance of success significantly decreases.

Second passion, this one is really important. Think about things that you aren't passionate about, how hard to you try for success? I believe that passion can be something that has to be realized (or discovered). Once that passion is found, the important thing is to focus in on it so that it can develop and flourish.

Third integrity through faith. I realize that people can have integrity without faith, but I feel that integrity without faith leads to a different type of success than I am referring to. So, essentially, when integrity through faith in the Lord is present a real success can be achieved.

First real post in a while

2008-03-14T14:09:00.000-07:00

I hate doing homework over spring break. I really don't think I have ever been so ineffective.

As I sit in this local coffee shop I feel more and more like this is what I would like to do someday. I have this idea for a coffee shop/sandwich deli thing. I feel like that could be a really stress free environment. I have a whole theme in my head where people could come in and just have coffee or have lunch. There would definitely be local art on the walls and local musicians could play on the weekends. I'm guessing there will be more on this in the future.

My dad has started reading. I know that I have never seen him read much more than the paper my entire life. Now in the last 2 months he has read 2 and a half John Grisham novels. Who knew. It was really cool to come home and talk about different styles of writing with him. I think I have convinced him to read some Tom Clancy too. Exiting stuff.

Phone call with my dad today:

Me: Hey

Dad: Ok, cryptograph, three two letter words, the first letters are all the same, the second letters are all different

Me: Any clue to go with that?

Dad: no

Me: huh...ok lemme think...if it is?

Dad: maybe. I'll talk to you later

Me: ok

Martin Luther

2008-03-04T10:14:00.000-08:00

I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in the Lords hands, that I still possess.

2008-03-03T07:08:00.000-08:00

To the Workers of the Rock River Valley Region, I Have an Idea Concerning Your Predicament and it involves an Inner Tube, Bath Mats, and 21 Able-bodied Men.

Sufjan makes me happy.

Quality Life Management: A Continual Process

2008-02-29T08:57:00.000-08:00

1) A growing relationship with the Trinity.

2) They will know that we are Christians by our Love.

3) Growing closer to the one I love.

I think I might be a finance nerd...

2008-02-28T11:48:00.000-08:00

I read a story today from the AP that announced that Berkshire Hathaway was going to be releasing its fourth quarter financial results, and, I'm not gonna lie, I got excited. My first thought was sweet I can't wait to read that.

I am worried that I may have fallen into the life of a finance junkie.

On a related note, I have decided that my latest dream job is to buy a company and use its capital to invest. Essentially, I want Warren Buffet's job. Also, I would like for him to hire me and mentor me so that I can also become a super genius.

On another related note, Ben Bernanke is a tool, I want Alan Greenspan back.

Huh?

2008-02-27T20:59:00.000-08:00

The best way to resolve this tension is to understand the text as a juxtaposition of two implicitly conditional prophecies representing the alternatives facing Zedekiah.

It's 3 a.m. Do you know where you are?

2008-02-21T01:02:00.000-08:00

I hope the answer is no or dreamland...or candyland

Not Sure

2008-02-18T08:18:00.000-08:00

This article is very interesting to me.

I have often wondered about this, whether it is happening to me or not. I am afraid that I know the answer to that though. Sometimes it is very obvious to me and I feel like I need to read and study more, but unfortunately I never feel strongly enough to act on this. Honestly, I am not really sure how to combat this happening to me. Mainly because of the fact that I am so good at ignoring problems like this.

In reality though, what bothers me more is not the fact that this has happened1 to me, but the fact that I can see the trend getting stronger with time. I think we are fed too much bull that really doesn't matter. All of the little tidbits of info that we get from whatever news outlet we are addicted to2 take our minds off of real thoughts, and simply give us more random crap to create small talk.

Now, the conspiracy theorist in me is yelling out that this is exactly what the media wants. Because if they can take our minds off of real things, and put simple thoughts that are easily manipulated in. Then they have succeeded in taking over our minds and they are able to brainwash us with slow subtle propaganda.

1 (maybe that should say is happening)

2 (Digg.com is my current addiction)

Seacrest OUT!

p.s. I don't like blogger, It wont let me format my text like I want.

Kroger Kreeps

2008-02-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

SO I was in Kroger today minding my own business getting food for family dinner. Right as i was about to leave I stumbled upon the vitamin water and was pondering whether I wanted one or not. There happened to be a guy stocking the water and, against what had to be his better judgement, he decided to open his mouth...

Pointing to the scantily clad girl on the vitamin water poster (which is wierd to me that they would try to sell vitamin water with sex but whatever) he said, "You know if you drink that you'll automatically look like her"

I replied, "well I'm not sure if i want that...in fact I don't think I do."

He replied, "Yeah I don't think I would either, she sure is cute though...course I kinda liked her better when she had a little more weight on 'er."

I did not reply.

Perks of my Job

2008-02-11T11:57:00.000-08:00

Ticket Terry Turner: (on the radio) Security to 13

Scott (<--My boss): This is 13

Ticket Terry Turner: Scott as I drove by I noticed the pond was a little low this morning.

Scott: (Loong pause) Ok, uh I hadn't noticed I guess

Ticket Terry Turner: Ok, I just wasn't sure if it was something the kids had done or if it was your guys

Scott: (shorter pause) Ok ill look into it

Scott did look into it, the pond was maybe two inches lower than normal. When he talked to Ticket Terry Turner again he said it must have been (and he was serious) his keen eyesight noticing the difference.

Watch out evil doers, nothing can escape the keen, unflinching, relentless eyesight of TICKET TERRY TURNER

Bill O'Reilly

2008-02-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

Does he think before he talks? I submit that he does not.

Has no one learned that it is a bad idea to badmouth Warren Buffet.

He is too smart.

Why I like Barack

2008-02-05T07:57:00.000-08:00

I have realized recently that I think Barack Obama is probably the best candidate for the presidency. The main reason for this is that I believe something is very wrong with the way things happen in our government. Granted there are more candidates out there that want change, but I believe Barack has the best chance. This is because he says that change only happens from the bottom up and I think he means it. Once again, there are most likely other candidates who believe this is true. However, I think that no one else has a personality, such as Obama's, that could inspire the bottom to actually change. This is a man who has the ability to rally people to his ideas, and that is exactly what it will take to change our political system. People believing they can do something.

I realize that he is not perfect, but if you think there is a perfect candidate out there you might be fooled now but over the next 4 years you will become very aware of that misconception.

OFFICIAL NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

2008-01-20T23:10:00.000-08:00

By the end of the year I want to cut my TV watching down to less than 5% of what it is now. I realize that I have no mathematical backing for proving that I achieve this, but I don't care. It brings a sickness into my core when I think of the time I have wasted watching a ridiculously stupid show, or even on the internet (blogging?).

I feel like there are so many better things I can use my time for. Even though I do not feel like I know what they are at this point, I feel like even the journey to find out what they are would be more fulfilling than the crap that usually fills my free time. I realize that I make a lot of claims about how I need to change something in my life, and then I just forget about them and go on like normal. But I feel like that has to change sometime, and I know that with the right influence it is possible to achieve the change I need to do.

Ice skating and possible serial killers

2007-12-18T17:45:00.000-08:00

Saturday night Barry Kliewer, an American bad ass, went Ice skating with Boo and his sister Laura. This was an amazingly cautious adventure as none of them had skated in 10 years at the least. Against all odds Barry completed a triple salchow, but unfortunately Boo would not agree to attempting a strait line dance lift. Throughout the evening not one of them fell, they thought this quite glorious.
Post this, they went on a tour of Marshall and saw what was most likely every light and decoration in the town. This, they thought, was also a great entertainment. Barry believed the driver of their tour bus to be a serial killer, and his suspicion was ever growing as they took a turn down what the driver would classify as a "secret passageway." The three resolved that no driver would be touching their secret passageways tonight. Thus they fought off his attempts at putting duct tape over their mouths.
Finally, after rescuing the two victims said driver already had captive in his basement, they stole his bus and raced back to the town center where they retrieved their Chevrolet Malibu and after activating the built in rocket boosters they flew to safety in an Inn named for the Holidays.

---------------

Rise up this mornin', Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")

Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright."
Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!"

I says to myself, "self."

2007-12-06T10:13:00.000-08:00

Me: I don't want to do these dishes
Myself: Well, you shouldn't have to
I: Yeah, they're not even your dishes

I recently realized that I am talking to myself more than I used to. The thing is I've always talked to myself in my head, but now many times I am actually talking to myself. I picked it up from my grandma. I think since my grandpa has always farmed and she had so much alone time that she just started talking to herself so she would have some conversation. It never really bothered me, but it really freaks out my cousins. I guess my real fear might be that I don't want to be the creepy guy that talks to himself...

Me: This is a bit of a lame post
Myself: at least your updating thats better than usual
I: Yeah, you should go eat.....

Leenks

2007-11-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

http://eightsolid.com/24-very-strange-funny-signs/

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/bells.htm

http://www.treehugger.com/files/2007/11/use_electricity.php

http://www.pelourinho.com/movies/c003702/

http://humour.200ok.com.au/soap.htm

This is a result of boredom in class.

Is this what we were looking for?

2007-11-15T19:55:00.000-08:00

I have heard countless people say that we should strive to be the best and nothing less. Top notch education, high paying job, the respect of our colleagues. Sounds pretty good. Why am I skeptical that this is what I should be striving for?

You know I hear a lot of people say that I will miss the freedom of college when I get into the workforce. I believe that if I join into the rat race this will be true. In that circumstance I would definitely miss all the perks of college. But I know that jumping into a rat race is in NO WAY appealing to me. battery dying...to be continued

Evilpod?

2007-11-12T00:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so maybe calling an ipod evil is a stretch. But when you think about it what are the social implications of such widespread ipod use. It is getting to the point where every young person and many of their parents are using ipods as a way to "escape" the world. This being said we often think it would be good to escape the world when often isolating ourselves from the world is the last thing we need. In fact, often times retreating into ourselves will many times only make a situation worse. Sure I will admit that it is nice to be able to listen to music while you walk or run, but how far should this be taken. When I see a person that I know I enjoy even the smallest passing conversation, but when they have earbuds in I almost feel like I would be putting them out to talk to them. I know that not everyone is as social as I am, but in a time where I feel that community and fellowship are incredibly important what impact is the ipod having? Essentially, I am not really sure what to think. I would warn ipod users, however, to examine the impact of the ipod on your life. Sure it may not be a bad impact, but...what if it is.

Peace, Love, and Joy be with you all of your days

Pushing it

2007-09-27T23:03:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am right on the edge of my breaking point at the moment. Maybe it is the fact that it is 1 a.m. and I am not nearly done with my homework for tomorrow(i am, however, as done as i will get tonight), and it could be that next week I will spend more than my budget for the semester. But something tells me that if someone said just the right thing to me I would catch fire. I think too much...and too little. I need to change. I can't do it myself. My mind is a mess. The worst part is I will probably feel good again in the morning, and forget all about the things that bother me now. F it i'm going to bed

Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally Golly What A Day

2007-09-19T19:38:00.000-07:00

Robin Hood and Little John
Walkin' through the forest
Laughin' back and forth
At what the other'ne has to say
Reminiscin', This-'n'-thattin'
Havin' such a good time
Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day

Never ever thinkin' there was danger in the water
They were drinkin', they just guzzled it down
Never dreamin' that a schemin' sherrif and his posse
Was a-watchin' them an' gatherin' around

Robin Hood and Little John
Runnin' through the forest
Jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees
An' tryin' to get away
Contemplatin' nothin'
But escape an' fin'lly makin' it
Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day
Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally
Golly, what a day



Good Memories

I am His

2007-09-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

It is so amazing to me every time God makes something clear in my mind. Anything from a Bible verse to how a relationship is supposed to work. It really blows my mind, and at times like this I set back and see that I prayed about something and then I understood it. How...how do I ever think I could possibly comprehend something on my own. Or, why would I ever want to when God can give me the purest vision of all. How do I justify getting angry when all I have to do is talk to God and he will take care of me? How do I justify having a "bad day" when the loving arms of Christ are around me everywhere I go?

Lord, I love you. Bless me and keep me all of my days. Show me how to live in beautiful relationship with you. Embrace me, O Lord, and show me your thoughts. I want to know more of you. Amen.

Peace, Joy, and Love be with you all of your days.

Poeticals and Lyricals and Suchlike

2007-09-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

What Have I Done?
Where Have I Been?
Will I Ever Live Up To
My Own Thoughts About Myself
My God He Is So Good
And Loves Like We All Should
But Why Can't I Remember
When I Look At Those I Hate
His Beauty It Unfolds
And He Gracefully Upholds
Every Promise To Us That He Ever Made
I Know that I Am His
And One Day When I Am Truly This
He'll Look At Me
Then He'll Show Me Round His Heaven

And now some Mewithoutyou

1. Messes Of Men

I do not exist, but faithfully insist
Sailing in our separate ships
and from each tiny caravelle
Tiring and trying there's unnecessary dying
like the horseshoe crab in its proper seasons sheds its shell
Such distance from our friends
like a scratch across a lens,
made everything look wrong from anywhere we stood
and our paper blew away before we'd left the bay,
so half-blind we wrote these songs on sheets of salty wood

Caught me making eyes at the other boatman's wives,
and heard me laughing louder at the jokes told by their daughters
I'd set my course for land,
but you well understand
it takes a steady hand to navigate adulterous waters
The propeller's spinning blades held acquaintance with the waves
as there's mistakes I've made no rowing could outrun
The cloth blowing on the mast like to say I've got no past
but I'm nonetheless the librarian and secretary's son
with tarnish on my brass and mildew on my glass,
I'd never want someone so crass as to want someone like me
but a few leagues off the shore, I bit a flashing lure
and I assure you, it was not what I expected it to be!
I still taste its kiss, that dull hook in my lip
is a memory as useless as a rod without a reel
To an anchor ever-dropped, seasick yet still docked
Captain spotted napping with his first mate at the wheel,
floating forgetfully along, with no need to be strong
We keep our confessions long and when we pray we keep it short

I drank a thimble full of fire and I'm not ever coming back

Oh, my God!

I do not exist we faithfully insist
while watching sink the heavy ship of everything we knew
If ever you come near I'll hold up high a mirror
Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You

Ugh

2007-08-28T13:46:00.000-07:00

This post has been removed because I didn't like it

Propogandas and

2007-08-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

This installment is bits of a train that was my thought on this morning...good luck reader

I recently read an article by Philip Yancey about authors that mixed propaganda writing with artistic writing (CS Lewis, Leo Tolstoy, Tolkien, etc.) This article managed to open my eyes to some of the things that make purely propaganda writing almost detrimental to Christian ministry when it is written for outreach purposes. We cannot expect non-believers to read in the same understanding of Christian concept as we are. Especially given that words like love, grace, and pity have very different meanings to those who do not use them as what can be called God talk.
In the same context it is dangerous to lean too much onto the artistic side of writing, because while a work may be regarded as being a beautiful piece of writing, the deeper message(or propaganda) may be lost in the wonder of the art.

The other concept that this article pushed into my mind was the realization that many writers, and more often me myself, have a tendency to start a work with a conclusion in mind. Therefore causing the book to be made up of rationalizations for their point of view rather than a work that looks over all possibilities and comes to a conclusion after thorough investigation. I personally love to rationalize the ideas that I already have, and to rationalize why I didn't have the ideas that I should have.

My final thought is this, be very careful when doing construction in your life. I have found that it is quite easy to conclude that you are doing pretty well in life, and this is the most dangerous conclusion you can come to. Because reaching a high of this type is only a warning that a sharp humbling is in your near future.

Now for my life status:
I am in my final week at Ed Jones, and my final week as a farm boy.
I am realizing that this summer coming to an end may mark the last time I ever stay at this home for the rest of my life.
I will be returning to the Longview probably on Sunday (after which I will be anxiously awaiting the arrival of a certain other person) if anyone wants to come chill at the house I welcome company and conversation (see footnote)
I hate financial aid and all that it entails.

Footnote--I have decided that a person needs to hold conversations more than daily about their faith. Just sitting by myself thinking usually gets me nowhere, this is not a complete thought...but you get the point. Let us engage in thought together.

Peace, Love, and Joy be with you all of your days

fin

Apology

2007-08-10T17:50:00.000-07:00

I know I know. I suck at posting. I am sorry. I will try really hard to get another theology post tomorrow, with a little status of B's life at the end. Much love

Faith like a child

2007-07-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

Our Church is doing its Daily Vacation Bible School this week. A couple of days ago, when asked about evening prayers, one little girl said that every night before she went to bed she hugged Jesus. At first I just laughed to myself and thought about how funny little kids are, but today I thought somewhat different about her comment. Given that I have currently been listening to a series of sermons putting light on our need for a daily relationship with the trinity, I look at this comment made by a girl no more than 5 yrs old and wonder if she could be right on the money in her thinking. I know that I myself have been caught up in the thinking that I need to study more about God, while this is all good and well studying about God can do very little in our relationship with God. I know that it is not good to imply that we should not strive for intellectual excellence, but I also know that we can have all of the intellectual knowledge we want and still be far away from Christ.
One author that my pastor quoted to me went so far as to say that many do not even understand how to have a relationship with Christ beyond knowledge about him. I fear that many times I fit into this category, I try so hard to study and understand biblical principles sometimes that I actually move away from Christ.
My best illustration of this is taking in consideration the relationships I have with those around me. I most certainly do not study a book that some commentator wrote to better understand Meredith. I talk to her and relate to her in person. WHY then would we not do the same with Christ. How much time do I really spend in communication with God? Yes communication, not me reciting a prayer that I have been praying for ten years. I have never had a relationship where I learned about them solely by me talking. In the same way communication with God requires talking and listening. Relationship with God requires give and take, every single day. God desires for us to allow Him to take us in His arms and hold us.

thank you for those who take the time to read these thoughts.
any responses or extra thoughts are encouraged

Peace, Love, and Joy all of your days

Mmmmm Coffee....

2007-06-26T16:56:00.000-07:00

Well, yeah.

There are some very deep concepts pushing their way around my mind trying to get in. My pastor is talking about the unseen warfare within us at church, its pretty intense.

What is the misery of man? His mind is diseased. He was made to look up to and enjoy God, as his chief delight, and his faculties will not work healthfully in the absence of this relationship. Sadly he has left God, and wearies himself in seeking good from created things. The love of God is to our minds, what the keystone is to the arch, and it falls to ruin without it. We now know that man's reason bewilders him, his conscience harasses him, and his imagination deceives him. His passions and emotions agitate and torture him. He has a misery at work in the very elements of his being, independent altogether of just punishment. This misery is rarely felt in all its force here, and sometimes it is scarcely felt at all, because of the distractions which the mind finds in external things. Yet, when these things are removed, the unhappiness is felt, giving rise to the horror of a situation such as solitary confinement, without the distraction of business.

Sometimes the misery of the spirit is actually alleviated by external miseries, because they draw attention away from the real misery. When I can lay the blame of my misery on something outside of me, I have hope of deliverance, because I can then distinguish between my sorrow and myself. How terrible is the discovery that I am myself my own misery. I had hoped that the source of the evil was somewhere else. I retreated, as I thought, within myself. Then I found that the more I retreated in that direction, the more intense and intolerable the pain became. My own mind is the furnace and how am I to escape from myself? We carry hell within us, and were we to walk through Eden, we should wither its sweetest flowers. But we dare not walk there; we are afraid of the presence of the holy one. And conscience, like the flaming sword of the cherubim, keeps our souls from God.

Well, how is pardon to cure this misery? We can understand how a pardon can remove an external punishment, but how is it to remove this internal disease? The great cause of the disorder and misery that distracts the human mind is aversion, or indifference, to God. The love of God, the keystone of the arch, is fallen from its place and all has, in consequence, gone to wreck. The sense of sin continually increases this aversion of the heart from God, because pollution hates and fears holiness, and an accusing conscience dreads avenging justice. The only medicine which can cure this dreadful and wide-spread disorder, must be something which will replace the key-stone in the arch, something which will rekindle love towards God, and which will do away with fear, and inspire confidence.

Now, the revelation of the cost of the pardon shows us the character of God, and is exactly fitted for this purpose. It is not merely a deliverance from penalties that we see here. Indeed the penalties are not canceled ? death still remains, and man toils and sweats still on the outside of Eden. The pardon in the gospel meets the penalties of the law, not by canceling them, but by associating them with gifts and promises which disarm them of their terrors. Death remains, but there is a promise of a new and endless life beyond the grave. Eden is still barred, and man still eats his bread at the price of labor, but the access into the real presence of God is thrown open, and all are invited and urged to come in that they may ask and receive every blessing which God can grant. But these gifts and promises, though great, do not constitute the most striking feature of the gospel. The love of God is better that all these gifts. He loved us, and gave himself for us. This revelation is the medicinal virtue of the gospel that heals the disease of the soul. It destroys the enmity. It wakes in us a holy love, which does away with the fear of punishment, and at the same time plants in us a fear of sinning. This medicine is a discovery of the love of God. This medicine is the profound heart-felt realization that I am the object of God's love and affection. This is the holy love with which God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son as atonement for its sins. I am included in a love so extravagant and undeserved that it "passes knowledge." God loves me.

5 For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.

6 But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer;

7 and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort.

8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;

9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;

10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,

11 you also joining in helping us through your prayers, so that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed on us through the prayers of many.

I encourage you to dwell on that for a while. Also, think about this statement, Satan is not the greatest danger for our faith...we are. Satan simply slips in the trap doors we have already created.

Peace and Joy be with you all of your days

-BK

!Update!

2007-06-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

O K

I am a couple weeks into my internship and I am enjoying it for the most part. I am actually getting to do work that is meaningful instead of just shredding and filing

I am still counting on visitors eventually...

Other than that I am too tired to keep writing, so...send me an email or something. It would be good to know that the world outside still exists.

And these three remain Hope Faith and Love, but the greatest of these is Love.

Always Remember

2007-06-02T20:57:00.000-07:00

Job 1:21

and (Job) said "Naked I came from my mothers womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; May the name of the Lord be praised."

Phillipians 2:14

do everything without complaining or arguing

Matthew 6:25,27

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Dont worry..be happy?

no no

Don't worry..dwell in the peace of God and be filled with everalsting joy

Job News

2007-05-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

OK...so I am pretty sure that I have an internship with Edward Jones in Elk City, Oklahoma. It looks like it is going to be a really good opportunity. There is a lot of room for upward movement in the company so I may have a future there too, which is exciting and sortof scary at the same time. Anyway it is paid but I think it is only going to be $7/hr so thats not really exciting but I don't have to pay rent. I am sad to say that this probably means I wont be coming back to Lview until August. I miss you all and you are all welcome to come visit any time...actually you are encouraged to come visit...that would be amazing.

Anywho, I was supposed to be home 10 minutes ago so that is all for now.

Peace and Joy be with you all of your days

Home again

2007-05-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

Wow I have not done anything on the internet for two days, I feel so accomplished. But a ridiculous amount has happened since Wed.

Trip home went well, dad wanted to put me to work as soon as I got out of my car, literally like 5 seconds after I got out he yelled for my help, I declined and spent the evening sitting at home and at dave's. Surprisingly I spent 3 hours at daves and consumes almost no alchohol.

Thursday I started work at 9, it was good to work on the farm after so long. I helped my dad and grandpa with odd jobs. my favorite was standing on the back of a pickup spraying weeds with very powerful chemical while my dad drove through a pasture. If I have a strange growth on my body when I come back I can guarantee that is the reason. Had a really depressing moment this day, we went to see the house that our renters were moving out of, the house I spent the last 13 years of my life in. I'll give some background on the renters, a long time ago they skipped rent a few months, so we cut the electricity, they stayed and it got worse, so in december dad cut the water off...they are just now moving out. So when we walked in to see the damage they had done I was instantly pissed beyond reason. The worst part is we could only stay in the house for a few minutes because the smell was horrible. they also have stuff laying around everywhere. the house is trashed...i'm sure all of the carpets are ruined and the smell is probably even in the wallpaper. It sill makes me really angry to think of what the house that so many of my memories are in has been reduced to.

Friday I worked with cattle a lot. Fixed fence and things, I got to ride the 4 wheeler a lot, that made me really happy. It has been a good day. I sold a dog today for my dad, and i think im getting half of the profits, which is 100 dollars. helz yeah! Now I am in the local coffee shop chilling and thinking that God has given me a good life.

My big realization this week is that most of the people that surround me here are working as hard as they can every day of every year, just to pay the interest on their loans and buy food. and this includes my dad. they say that this is going to be a really good wheat harvest, I hope it is, everyone around here needs to catch a break like that.

Peace and Joy be with you all of your days.

These pictures might be worth a couple hundred words

2007-05-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am really happy right now because of the fact that Liverpool is in the
UEFA cup finals. So, in light of that, here are some pics that make me happy.

Pepe Reina. Spanish bad ass.

This pose is stunning.
More proof that Chelsea really is gay.
(of course Jermaine (in red) looks brilliant as usual)

Season ticket holders for Newcastle showed
their appreciation for their teams losing season
by booing them off and tossing their tickets onto
the pitch. Soccer fans are brutal.

George and Tom are the dudes that recently
purchased my reds. They're bloody rich.

Oh, and give me some feedback on the new colors.

Barry Kliewer: Life and Works

2007-05-06T00:51:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking for a long long time about the things that I want to do in life and what I want to accomplish. After recent conversations with people around me I have solidified in my mind the rejection of the worlds view of success. I am quite certain that God's purpose for my life is to work to death so that my kids can get a good education and do the same thing I did. No, I know now that my focus should in fact be on what I can do to further His kingdom...not mine. I have and will struggle with my view of success and happiness, and I have come to realize that I don't want all of the shnazzy things that people train me to think I need. I can live without an Ipod, or a new computer or a motorcycle or even a TV. If I have the necessities of life to live worthy of God's calling then there is absolutely no reason why I cannot live a joy filled life.

Its that time again

2007-05-03T23:27:00.000-07:00

Well we made it through another year. It is time to sit around and tell stories now. The latest favorite is one of Jesse's classic stories. Talking about the good days in high school when he would go muddin' (yeah thats a technical term) with his cousins. It really sucks to think about the fact that I won't see some of these boys ever again.

On a brighter note. It is awesome to have days like today where I have NO responsibility. I drove to Dallas with Mere and some people just to eat at Chipotle. I actually feel like a real college student.

Give another go

2007-05-02T22:58:00.001-07:00

Well, I had decided that this whole blogging revolution was stupid, yet here I am blogging...I guess maybe it will help me keep in touch or let people know what is going on in my life. or something

I'm still not sure this was a good idea.